Lights Out
by frodoandsam1
Summary: Frodo suffers from a very commen problem


"You were a million miles behind.  
  
And I was crying every time I'd leave you.  
  
Then I didn't want to see you.  
  
I still keep my watch two hours behind."  
  
Frodo Baggins walked down the narrow little road on baggend. He knew something was wrong but couldn't quite put his finger on it. The ring was distroyed but he still felt that there was some kind of evil that was still lurking. Not knowing what danger he was walking into he opened the door to his little hobbit hole. A horrible black creature stood befor him with a firery black bow with it's firery black arrow cocked and ready to go. Frodo freezed in fear and suddenly the arrow was released. It went straight through Frodo's penis and Frodo screamed in pain as his penis began to dissenagrate. Frodo's screamed like a girl for her mommy being attacked by bombers.  
  
"Someone turned the lights out there in Memphis.  
  
That's where my family's buried and gone.  
  
Last time I was there I noticed a space left.  
  
Next to them there in Memphis.  
  
In the damn back lawn."  
  
He laid there currled in a ball. The creature just stood there looking curiously at him and then he disappeared. The next day Sam found him crying on the floor. "Master!" he exclaimed. Frodo just looked at him weakly. "Master, What's wrong?" "He...it...took it away from me," Frodo said shaking. "Took what? What did it take?" Sam said. Frodo slowly pulled down his pants to show nothing there except skin. Sam stared at his missing balls and rubbed his eyes. "H-how....." "I don't know Sam, I don't know," Frodo answered. The two stared at each other in horror trying to figure out this could possibly happen. ~ Tomness sat in her chair looking into a mirror and smileing wickedly. Suddenly the same horrible black creature appeared before her with a penis in his hand. "Quickly, give the penis to me!" Tomness ordered her creature. When it gave the penis to her she grabbed it and put it in a jar. She made a suspicious look at all the creatures around her. "No one touches this jar, or I will kill you myself," she said laughing wickedly. ~ Finally, Sam forced Frodo to go to the pub with him. They walked slowly and got there even slower. When they did get there they went in and bought a round. While Frodo was drinking he saw the most beautiful hobbit woman. He was to ashamed of his lack of packaging to ask her to dance. The went on and that beautiful hobbit Frodo had spotted was now starting a conversation with him. "Hey, um what's your name?" She asked. "Uh...Frodo...What's yours?" he said stumbling. "My name is Dell," she said blushing. Frodo smiled and took her hand and danced with her. He and Dell danced and laughed and when it was time for the pub to close down he walked her home. "Dell, your the most beautiful hobbit I have ever seen!" He exlcaimed. "Thank you," she said. She then quickly kissed him on the cheek and went into her house. Frodo Felt like he was flying when he walked home.  
  
"I didn't know that I was in the crowd.  
  
And the fresh cut grass stopped growing.  
  
Everything on my shelf has fallen.  
  
I still keep my watch two hours behind."  
  
~ The next morning Frodo took a book outside with him and sat reading under an old oak tree. Not a few minitues into the book Dell came strolling by. "Hi Frodo! What are you reading?" she said pulling the book from his eyes. "Oh hey Dell! I'm reading an some old book," he said. "Oh I see. Um last night was fun." "Yes it was." "I was just wondering, did you mean that when you told me I was the most beautiful hobbit you ever saw?" "Yes, every word of it, your so amazing," he said gazing into her eyes. They began to kiss and they held each other in a passionate embrace. "I love you," Dell whispered. Frodo pulled her from his arms and looked into her eyes. "There is something I have to tell you." he said. "What? What is it?" "I.....I don't have a dick." The word shocked her as she stared at him um believalby. Frodo sighed and pulled down his pants. She screamed in horror and ran away.  
  
"Someone turned the lights out there in Memphis.  
  
That's where my family's buried and gone.  
  
Last time I was there I noticed a space left.  
  
Next to them there in Memphis.  
  
In the damn back lawn." 


End file.
